The Problem With Bovine Foder
by xxmelusinexx
Summary: Post Musical. Fiyero is loosing himself and Elphaba is trying to figure out a way make him human again. Without the Grimmerie she has no clue how though. what will they do? Rating is for possible language later on.
1. Chapter 1

Yes I am once again about to torture a favorite fandome of mine. I have a half done idea as to where this is going and there is a clue in this first chapter. If you have any thoughts on how you think this should go please do share.

OK. So I was watching the wizard of Oz the other day and it occurred to me 'if the scare crow doesn't have a brain maybe he doesn't have a heart either and just hasn't thought about it.' Now at the end of the musical her has his love back with him bit no nerve endings and no heart to feel anything physical or emotional.

Disclaimer: Luckily for all those who enjoy this awesome play and the book that it came from I don't own believe me it probably wouldn't be worth your time if I did.

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Elphaba sat on the mattress that she and Fiyero shared with her head in her hands trying to rub away the mounting head ach with her fingers. Fiyero had just left for a walk, which would lead him through the woods and possibly the outskirts of the field that belonged to their 'neighbor'. They had lived in this new place that seemed so much like Munchkin land although none of the inhabitants had given it a name other than 'home'. For a time everything had been wonderful they were together and nobody had a clue about their past or pestered them for information they were free from all the troubles of Oz, but after two years of hardly any physical affection (because he couldn't tell when he was holding her to tight and when he tried to kiss her he either head butted her or made her lips bleed) was taking its toll on their relationship.

He was restless with being secluded in one place for so long and Elphaba understood this. He was a scarecrow and was slowly slipping away from the human side of himself. He was slipping away from her. The only man that Elphaba had ever let herself love was being forced from her by her own actions.

She would happily have sat for hours studying the Grimmerie in order to remedy his problem except that Glinda had the Grimmerie, and if they went to get it back from her than… well that just opened up a whole new host of problems ,so Fiyero was a scarecrow and Elphaba had little choice other than to stand by and watch the distance between them grow.

'Why does everything have to so complicated' she wondered silently 'I try to help but it seems that I just make things worse.' Her mind wandered off onto a dark track 'maybe he would prefer to be dead and is just too scared of 'the Witch' to leave outright and set himself on fire.'

Elphaba walked over to the little work bench and table that held her notes and jottings of everything that she remembered from the Grimmerie. It wasn't much but she thought if incantations worked like a language then maybe she could decipher it and maybe _just_ maybe she could make a spell to cancel out what she had done to Fiyero.

In a fit of frustration she kicked the bench so hard that it flew to other side of the room. For the billionth time she wondered over how she managed to mess things so wonderfully completely. Elphaba saw how Fiyero never smiled anymore; he never laughed and always seemed dejected as if he had given up on ever being human again. It broke her heart when she tried to make him laugh or just show something other than this emotionless creature that she had made him, and all he did was give this half done smile that never reached his eyes.

If she could take it away from him even if only for a little while she would do it just to make him smile once more even if she had to take his place. Just so long as she didn't have to watch him walk away from her; jus to know that man the fun loving sporadically serious man that she had fallen was still their still alive just unable to shine under the weight of so much straw.

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Fiyero walked slowly through the woods meandering between the tall trees and listening to the bird song that filled the air around him. He had no idea how long he had been walking alone the now well trodden path from the little cottage that he and Elphaba shared. The sun shone but he couldn't feel the warmth. He put his hand against a tree and could only feel the pressure of something there not the roughness of the bark.

Fiyero heaved a sigh kept walking towards his as yet unknown destination. He loved Elphaba he knew he did, but lately he felt the need to be near her to stand by her side begin to wain. The undeniable feeling that he wanted to walk through the forest maybe get lost and never really try to find his way was slightly startling but he could not deny its presence. For three years he had stayed faithfully by Elphaba's side and patiently waited for her to make some breakthrough or grand discovery and make him Fiyero Tigelaar instead of The Scarecrow that can't even scare a crow. He saw how she worked herself ragged trying to puzzle out how to fix him and had lost hope that she would ever manage to complete the task. The thought that she had given up and was just looking over the notes for show, and had no real intention of actually doing anything had come up several times. Fiyero could no longer read her face has he once had, it was one thing he missed dearly about being human.

He missed so many things. the fell of her against him the ability to tell how she felt from the look on her face or the sound of her voice, the ability to sleep and eat, or feel things that were in his hands. To feel emotion rather than just indifference and possibly a hint of boredom. Fiyero stopped when the field came into view. There were crows throughout the wheat field and after one encounter where they had nearly taken him apart he had no intentions of stepping foot into it again. Fiyero sighed once more and made his way back even slower than he had come. Elphaba needed someone even if she was too proud to admit it. A lonely Elphaba was an exceptionally dangerous thing as shown by er spiral into depression when she had no one to talk or argue with. Fiyero wished silently that he could understand why he wanted to leave or why he wanted to stay, because despite having been given a 'brain' he still could not comprehend _why._

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Comments good, bad, or otherwise are welcome and much appreciated. Makes me fell like i'm not just talking to myself. :)


	2. Chapter 2

alright so this is going to be my last update until I get back. So yeah hope you enjoy. they say you always hurt the ones you love so here goes.

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything. Here's to Gregory Maguire who has actually made a name for himself by wrighting fan fic. (lucky)

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Fiyero walked into the cottage and shut the door noisily. 'It really needs to be redone so it actually fits' he thought staring at it as if the door would suddenly fix its self. It didn't Fiyero sighed and turned around as Elphaba left their bedroom.

She smiled at him "how was your walk?" she looked him up and down noticing how he seemed to sag and took a mental note that soon they would need to replace his straw or Fiyero would face immobilization.

Fiyero only shrugged, and walked off the kitchenette to make Elphaba some breakfast. Just to prove he wasn't a total waist of space every morning he cooked her something and despite her saying that he had nothing to prove he felt he did. The first attempt had ended with her playfully bumping him with her hip which in his malleable state was more than enough force to knock him square on his tail, and in an effort to stay in front of the stove he grabbed it and accidently put his hand in the flame and Elphaba had to find him a new glove, stuff it and sew it back on. After he cooked the eggs though.

Elphaba's smile dropped as he walked away. This was one of those days that he couldn't hide the fact that he wasn't content being made of straw. For all his words his actions spoke volumes more. She followed a few steps behind him and as he plopped the eggs in the skillet she wrapped her arms around his middle and placed her head on his shoulder.

"Please Fiyero talk to me" She whispered. She needed to hear him say that he wasn't happy even if she already knew just for him to admit it would give her the determination she needed to pull out all the stops and fix this whole mess. Even if it was reckless and dangerous without the Grimmerie she would tell him all three possible things that at best would fix him possibly leave him without his left hand or kill him out right. If he couldn't wait for her to be sure about it then he could pick his way out. Now if she could only convince herself to let him do that things would be alright.

Fiyero sighed and flipped the eggs "Elphie I just don't feel like talking right now."

"Yero just tell me what's wrong. I am your wife right? For better or for worse and all that nonsense" She said placing her hand on his shoulders. He felt the pressure but not the warmth not the love he knew he used to, and the dam of pent up desires were voiced.

"I am made of straw and all you do is spend time looking over useless notes and saying 'poor Fiyero, at least you're not dead, or green!" he raged turning towards her looking down at her even though he was only two inches taller than she. "I miss breathing, eating, sleeping, _feeling_. I miss living and not having to avoid water and fire and having to get restuffed every few months. I am glad I'm alive but I hate this Oz forsaken existence it's not a real life and I can't take it any more!" his face was contorted into snarl that even Elphaba shrunk away from.

She took a step back the very picture of shame and hurt. "I've tried everything I could think of I don't know what else to do, but..."

"That's not good enough Fae!" He exploded again I wish I could have just left you alone. If it weren't for you I would be human happy and in the Emerald City living it up, but no I am suck out in the middle of nowhere with a woman who I can't feel!"

"Fiyero I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I won't quit even if I have to sneak into Glinda's home and steal the Grimmerie back from her." she said looking directly in the eye.

"You can't do that we both know you'd be caught. Besides if there was anything useful in that stupid book you would have degreenified yourself already, but hey look you're still green as grass so maybe misery loves company and you couldn't handle being the only freak anymore. Needed to drag someone else into your own little personal pit of shame!"

Elphaba saw red. Her fists clench at her side and everything went blurry through tears or anger she wasn't entirely sure. The only man that she had ever truly cared for who had promised that her appearance mattered nothing to him was showing _his_ true colors.

"If I had found a way to make you human again that I was sure wouldn't have ended in your death I would have done this already. I know it's my fault and have tried to figure it out, but it takes time. I love you Fiyero I would never make you suffer intentionally you have to know that." She choked out through a constricting throat as the first tears spilled from her eyes. She hadn't cried since she heard of Fiyero's 'death', but as his biting comment sunk in Elphaba felt a sensation that she hadn't in a very long while. Since her days at Shiz in fact.

"Oh no" was all she managed to squeak out before her magic was released to do whatever she subconsciously had set it to doing. Something strange happened event for an event like this. Elphaba had never been hurt by her own magic but this, this was torture at it's worst. Her limbs felt like someone was throwing her bodily into a fire and then suddenly everything passed into blessed numbness. She heard Fiyero but he sounded so far away. 'What was he doing?' she wondered obscurely. 'Screaming by the sounds of it' her analytical brain filled in. And then her world went black.

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Reviews are love guys. Please don't be shy about anything you want to say. thank you Elphaba Thropp-Tiggular, and GreenFaeLovesYero. Glad you liked it. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again! nice long chapter and one or two more to follow soon. This is one of those 'be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it' things. As always please click hat wonderful button at the bottom of the page and tell me what you think. thank you so very much to those who have reviewed and alerted. It makes me feel like i'm not just wasting my time.

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think i'd be wrighting FanFic if I owned it?

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Fiyero woke up coughing on the cottage floor. Lying sprawled across a wooden floor with no padding and with his right elbow bent awkwardly underneath him was exceptionally uncomfortable. And then it hit him. He was breathing, feeling, alive.

Fiyero put his hand in front of his face and saw a hand, not a glove but an actual factual hand.

"Fae!" He crowed excitedly "Fae! You did it, you did it!"

No reply came. No excited Fae jumped into his arms, no tears of happiness. Getting up was difficult for his stiff muscles and he briefly wondered why until he noticed the sun was nearly ready to set.

"Geez Fae you couldn't even try and wake me up? I've been sleeping on the floor all day" he said laughing slightly in the awkward silence. "Fae where are you" no answer came. He hobbled around the room still trying to loosen his muscles, and making for the bedroom door. 'She must be in bed' Fiyero thought with a gently smile playing on his lips 'tired after a spell that was undoubtedly powerful.'

He pushed the door open gently so it wouldn't creak and wake her, but as he looked into the room he found the bed empty

"Elphaba where are you this really isn't funny" he called out all humor gone from his voice. Fiyero stumbled over the kitchen chair unable to stand up anymore. He looked at the small fire place and thought about lighting it since now he wouldn't risk incineration. 'Maybe she went out for some fresh air. She's probably pacing a rut into the ground outside the front door' he thought 'no, if anyone saw her we'd be forced to move again and she hates having to pick up and leave. Especially since we just managed to find this place.'

He went to the front door and opened it. The temperatures dropped with the sun and his breath came in little clouds but there was no Elphaba to be seen. "Fae" he called out into to on setting twilight as loudly as he dared "Fae where are you?"

Now he was worried. Had she lost control of her magic and felt the need to get a little distance to calm her nerves? Was she hurt?

'knock it off Tigelaar' he scolded himself 'Don't borrow trouble where there is plenty of it already.' He slowly walked back into the house enjoying the sensation of being cold.

He heaved a sigh, rolled up the sleeves and pant legs of his very baggy and tatter clothes, and went to the fire place set up the kindling and such to light it. He noticed a few stray pieces of straw on the hearth but thought nothing of it. As he struck the match the kindling lit and so did the straw. Which lit the dress that was worn by a figure curled tightly in a ball and pressed so closely to the small couch that if you hadn't known she was there you could easily walk right past.

Fiyero stood dumb founded by the creature until he noticed the conical hat, and the flames that quickly went across her clothing. Without thinking to look closer he picked up the small bucket near the fire and doused Elphaba with the water.

In all of this she had not moved an inch, nor screamed, nor made any indication that she knew what was happening. Fiyero crawled over to her on his hands and knees, And gently put his hand on her shoulder shaking it ever so slightly "Fae can you hear me?" No answer.

Fiyero gently picked her up and placed her in his lap rocking her. "Fae you really need to eat more you hardly weigh anything" he said only half joking. He shifted her in his lap and heard a curious rustling sound. His face paled as a horrifying thought occurred to him. He pressed a fisted hand on her side and watched as her body gave way until his hand had disappeared up to the wrist into her lightly soggy 'skin'.

Elphaba had made him human again, but now she was the scarecrow, the could be mattress, walking talking kindling. His wonderful beautiful Fae had taken his place in the living hell that was being a scarecrow. His words came back to him 'misery loves company… needed to drag someone else into your own little personal pit of shame.' His vision blurred and he felt the first tears he had cried on over three years start sliding down his face. He was the one doing the dragging not Elphaba

He moved her head so he could look at her face, and traced one of the seems that criss-crossed it is if it did not care that it was marring one of the most beautiful things in all Oz. Her skin was patchwork of green burlap and her legs had been blacked slightly in places from the fire; her dress was a black and white checker pattern that went just past her knees and scorched badly at the hem. 'Not unlike Dorothy's' he thought with no humor what so ever. Her hat was sewn to her head and her hair was a thick black braid of dyed wheat. She looked like a rag doll that had been passed down through several children and had been sewn up several times.

"Oh Fae what have you done" he whispered rubbing his thumb across her cheek and moving her into more of a sitting position. He cradled her with her head on his chest and gently rocking until his legs had fallen asleep and night was well established outside.

Fiyero was in no hurry for her to wake her. Once she was conscious there would never again be sleep for Elphaba Thropp. She wouldn't be able to sit near the fire or feel it's warmth if she went out in the rain she'd mildew within hours. No crying, no breathing, no heartbeat, no steady connection to her emotions. She wouldn't be able to fly her broom because all her stuffing would fall out if she went at anything approaching a good speed. She was trapped now. Well and truly trapped.

"I'm so sorry Fae I shouldn't have said those things I just couldn't help it" he whimpered squeezing her even closer to him. He leaned down to kiss her forehead. It was rough, cold, and made of an unforgiving fabric. "I love you Fae I'm sorry for everything" he whispered kissing the crown of her head and then replacing hos lips with his cheek enjoying holding her even if she wasn't exactly herself. He sat holding her like that for several hours, rocking her and making comforting sounds whether for her or himself he was debatable. He would not leave her, just as she had not left him when they roles had been reversed. They would find a way to make this right once and for all.

* * *

Elphaba groaned slightly. She wasn't in pain or anything but the sound came anyway.

"Fae" she heard someone whisper. She mumbled something unintelligible at the voice, and slowly, very slowly, opened her eyes.

The first thing that Elphaba saw was a shoulder wearing a battered green jacket. Her eyes followed the shoulder, to a neck, and then to a head. Blue eyes shone brightly from a face of tanned skin that she never thought she'd see again. She smiled gently and his name came in the form of a whispered "Yero."

Elphaba reached out to touch his face lacing her finger gently into his hair. After a moment though her brow creased, and she rubbed the side of his face gently before pulling it away.

She looked uncomprehendingly at her fingers. Five fingers that didn't quite straighten out, made of three different shades of green fabric, with black thread holding the patches together. Her eyes grew to twice their normal size "what-what's happened" she stuttered unbelieving and struggling to get out of Fiyero's arms.

"Fae hang on a moment you can't stand yet" he warned, but in her panic she paid him no attention. Elphaba stood shakily like a tree in the wind. She went for the door stumbling over her own two feet. Her left leg went to the side crossing her right; she fell to the floor, and tumble rolled, like a circus gymnast, three feet to the door.

Fiyero leapt up to stop her but wasn't fast enough to catch her even while she was tripping over herself. In moments the door to the cottage flew open and Elphaba literally fell out of the door slamming it behind her. She was doing what she had always done when it came to personal problems. She was running away. She could face down anybody to help someone else be it her little sister or an Animal that she had never even met, but Elphaba couldn't face her own issues for the life of her. When people said things about her skin she built a wall of sarcasm, and snappy comebacks and hid behind it. When people had called her an evil old witch she'd fled to the other end of the country.

Fiyero made for the door but couldn't open it. Elphaba didn't know her own strength anymore, and had jammed the door so hard that it took him three tries to body slam it open. He followed the trail of disturbed pine needles that lay on the ground. "Fae come back let me help you. Remember just like you helped me? Please Fae don't run you'll be alright I'll make sure of that" He called into the night his breath fogging in front of him. She was scared and that was when she let her guard down, and made split second harebrained decisions. She was falling back on her independence when really she needed someone to look after her. Fiyero followed her trail at a jogging pace. he was in the same physical condition he had been before his time as a scarecrow, but he was unused to the need to breath and was encumbered by his once again bone heavy feet.

Elphaba used trees to propel herself low branches catching at her clothes and skin. She could hear Fiyero calling for her, but she needed to be alone for a while. A really long while, like until she rotted away, or got hit by lightning, or something. She had to get away from this horrifying new reality, but she didn't know exactly how she was going to run away from herself. She needed to come to terms with the sudden change and she thought best when she was alone. She needed to get used to the change, that was if there was such a thing as getting used to this.

Her foot caught in a protruding root and she crashed to the ground with the sound of ripping fabric. Her leg had come off at the knee spilling straw everywhere. Elphaba crawled to the nearest tree sobbing, though no tears came and now none ever would. She pulled her remaining whole leg up to her chest and wrapped her arms around it burying her face into her knee and shook with grief. She had saved Fiyero he was happy and whole and human. Now she was the broken down scarecrow that couldn't feel anything. She heard the wind through blowing through the trees but couldn't feel it she was the wild flowers hanging on to life even as winter set into the great Gillikin forest, but could not smell them. The empty feeling was all consuming numbness and distracting to the point she would give anything to feel even if it was pain. She was the one in danger from everything ranging from a mouse to a match to a Gale Force Guard. Elphaba sat huddled by the tree for how long she was unsure, and she really didn't care enough to wonder.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4! I will most likely post one more chapter today. hope you guys like them. As always please review and tell me what you think about the story so far, and what you think should happen because I have strayed quite far from my outline, and any tip or ideas would be great.

Disclaimer: I'm just glad I can do this much owning it would be a little extreme. I'm perfectly happy to play around for a little bit

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Fiyero leaned agenst a tree trying to catch his breath. Three miles or so and still he hadn't found Elphaba. He looked at the ground examining his trail in the half light of the moon. She had gone this way he was sure, but as he looked it just ended. He questioned whether the debris on the ground was pine needles or straw but he couldn't tell. He slid to the ground and continued to breathe smelling the wild flowers that grew just up the trail.

Fiyero examined the flowers. Lavender he noted thinking how Elphie liked the smell Lavender. This sent a stab of guilt through him as he realized that was one more thing he had essentially stolen from her. From his resting place he saw a shadow on the ground. It looked like an odd like a stick, or fallen branch but it didn't belong to any of the trees in this forest it was thicker than any pine branch he'd ever seen.

He heaved himself into standing and walked over to it. It was not a branch, but the torn leg of a certain green scarecrow. Fiyero smiled despite the circumstances he was close. He looked at the patterns the needles formed on the ground, and followed the disturbance off to the right.

Fiyero found her huddled next to tree sobbing herself senseless. Her clothes were torn, her braid was a mess, but she looked so defenseless and innocent, it was adorable really. He walked slowly over to her and sat beside her placing his arm around her shoulder moving her ever so slightly in case she didn't feel the sight pressure. She pulled away slightly, curling up even tighter if it was possible. Fiyero gently pulled her back and made her straighten out just enough to rest her head on his shoulder.

Elphaba couldn't feel him holding her more like the pressure you feel on your feet when standing. She didn't attempt to hold him back, because she knew for a fact that scarecrows were stronger than they looked. She sat in his arms and let herself be held and continued to order her thoughts into something resembling coherency.

"Fae will you please talk to me" he asked gently. The only response was her moving closer to him. "Fae I know what you're going through please let me help you. I'm your husband for better and for worse remember" he teased slightly trying to bring her fight out so he would get a verbal response.

He was rewarded with a quick glance up at his face. "You don't look much like the man I married" she said dryly.

"And since when do looks matter much at all to you?"

Elphaba smiled, and Fiyero took it as permission and go back to the house. He picked her up bridal style, and walked over to her detached leg, and stooped to pick it up. She made no objection to being coddled which was a shock. But then again it's not every day your existence changes this dramatically he thought sadly.

"You managed to get pretty far for it being you first time to walk like that" he said trying to start a conversation because it was he knew going to be a very long walk back. Elphaba remained silent her ear pressed, practically glued to his chest. "The first time I tried to walk after the transformation I kept falling over every two steps" he said and gave an awkward kind of laugh.

"Shh, I just want to listen for a moment" she said softly. 'Listen to what' he wondered for a moment before he realized 'oh.' Her head was on the left side of his chest, her ear right above his heart, his once again beating human heart.

"Oh Fae just give it some time we'll fix this, even if I have to steal the Grimmerie from Glinda to do it." He said trying to comfort her in some way. This seemed to make her chuckle slightly, so he went along with the 'whatever you want to do we'll do' line of thinking "We can go see Glinda just like you wanted to, and maybe the book has an 'incase of accidents' page or something" he said trying desperately to make everything alright make her laugh. When she didn't respond Fiyero took went silent for the remainder of the trek back to the cottage.

Once he saw the outline of it though Fiyero decided to make one more try at talking.

"Hey, Fae, we're almost home" he said trying to be cheerful "I'll fix your leg, and then you're not leaving the house until you get the hang of walking without bones." He felt Elphaba sigh and decided that was all the answer he needed she was tired and needed a little time to figure everything out. He'd give her all the time she needed, because Fiyero realized with a jolt she was technically immortal now barring accidents. He would be with her for the rest of his days if he could, and nothing short of the Unnamed God and Luraline working together would make him leave his Fae right now or ever. She needed him just as he had needed her, and it was time to repay the favor and maybe fix the whole problem and finally start their lives together as humans.

He fumbled with the doorknob for a few moments and opened the door, but he didn't walk in.

"Hey now I can actually carry you across the threshold like I was supposed to" he said gently kissing her. "Welcome home Mrs. Tigelaar" he whispered and stepped on into the house.

Fiyero set Elphaba gently down on the couch, she was still holding on tightly to her leg, and went to grab the sewing kit from their room. He grabbed the handle and as he was about to walk out of the small room he walked over the little slightly broken mirror and turned it to face the wall. She didn't need that right now on top of everything else.

He walked back over the couch where Elphaba was sitting staring blankly into the fire. His fingers skimmed across her arm as he walked past until they reached her hand and grasped it tightly. He sat at the other end and placed her damaged leg on his lap and slowly started to reattach it to the rest of her.

* * *

"Since when do you know how to sew?"

It was an innocent question and a reasonable one considering Fiyero had grown up with plenty of servants to take care of him.

"Several times when I needed a quick repair you were in bed sound asleep, and I didn't want to wake you so I taught myself to sew" he said trying to make the jagged tear go back as perfectly as he could. He didn't want to give her a leg that was an inch shorter than the other one.

Elphaba nodded soundlessly. "How about you let me finish this" she suggested "you look tired and I'm not totally sure I trust you to put my leg back on correctly."

Fiyero saw through that little ploy immediately.

"Elphaba I'm taking care of you and you're just going to have to get over it. Don't even try to deny that you need help because we both know you couldn't do this on your own. I love you Fae I'm going to take care of you, like it or not" he firmly leaving her no room to object. He loved her but sometimes she needed a reality check to set her straight.

Once Fiyero had finished fixing all the tears he stood up and offered her his hand.

"You can walk with me to the bedroom, or I can carry you" he told her.

Elphaba eyed his hand for a moment and then stood up on her own. She looped her arm through his and walked with him to their room.

As Fiyero settled into bed Elphaba followed and wrapped her arms around him.

"You're going to get very bored waiting for me to wake up" he said in warning.

Elphaba smiled and put her ear back over his heart. "It's worth it to hear this sound again" she said.

"I love you Fae, more than you could ever know" Fiyero hadn't said anything like that for several weeks and those words made Elphaba more optimistic about the situation, because her Fiyero was back.

"I love you too, Yero my hero" she said softly closing her eyes and lay there listening contently to the sound of her lovers heart


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 whoop! Thanks to all those reading and reviewing once again you guys rule. Elphaba has a Midna moment for all those who know LoZ. Just tell me what you think, and if you think you have some cool suggestions please share.

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Early the next morning Elphaba gently got up from their bed and went to the kitchen. She grabbed the last egg that Fiyero had appropriated from the farmer that owned the field, and set about making Fiyero's breakfast. 'two can play at this game my love' she thought smiling when Fiyero walked out of their bedroom, and looked curiously at the plate that Elphaba had just set on the small table.

"Fae I was wondering" he said after the first mouthful and before quickly shoveling the rest in. "do we have anything else? I'm _starving" _he said puting his hand over his stomach as if to underline his point.

"Really, I thought you didn't go for the whole intellectual thing" she said mockingly elbows on the table hand folded supporting her chin and sporting a devilish grin. He gave her a withering stare, but was happy that conversation seemed to be back on her agenda. Elphaba got up and started making him some oatmeal although there wasn't much oat in it at all. "I should think you'd be hungry after three years of not eating" she said over her shoulder.

"Fae really now, what should we do to put you to rights. You said that there had been a few possible spells at one point" he ventured trying to find out why she had abandoned the first few possibilities.

"Yes and then your hand was burnt off. If I had used the spell I had been working on after that you would have been human but with no left hand. And my leg came off last night so if I use that one I will be stuck without a right lower leg. I like walking by myself thank you very much" she said quickly.

"Besides I'm not even sure I can use magic like this" she said quietly of a small pause placing the next round of food in front of him, and standing beside him. "I could always feel that well of energy, this liquid fire, and now I can't. It's odd, like I'm missing a piece of me, but the point is I don't think I could get myself out of this mess even if I had the Grimmerie to help me" she admitted slightly shame faced.

Fiyero hadn't thought of that. If Elphaba couldn't do magic then how were they going to make her flesh and blood again? "We'll have to find Glinda then" he said after a moment's thought.

"Fiyero have you lost your mind? You are the one always saying that we have to stay away from Glinda. If we tromp in there now when things have finally started to quiet down we'll incite the riot all over again, and I really don't want to be burnt alive for public entertainment right after they shoot you" she exploded.

'She has always been a pessimist' he thought sadly. "Fae what other option do you have? I refuse to let you be a scarecrow for the rest of eternity. No other spell caster would help you at all. The worst Glinda will do is give us a hard time over not telling her what actually happened and you can blame that on me" He said before more objections came.

"Oh so if you need help it's alright to let you suffer, but if I need something it's straight to the most dangerous plan to fix it? I don't want to risk being caught. Yero they will _kill_ you now that you don't look like the scarecrow that helped Dorothy I can't loose you, Fiyero, not right after I finally get you back, and I am still entirely to recognizable" she didn't want to fight him, but Fiyero didn't seem to grasp the fact that he was in danger and she wouldn't allow that. She put her head in her hands shaking her head at his insistence on going back to the emerald city.

Fiyero finished the last of his breakfast. "Fae you've wanted to see Glinda again for three years please just long enough for her to make you human" moving to stand he walked over to his wife, and put his hands on Elphaba's shoulders. "I know how much it takes to put up with that life you're now living. I don't want you to go through it for three years like I did. They can't kill you that's why I'm not so objected to going now. I'm less willing to endanger your life than my own. Besides i'm much more confidant about sneaking around now that I can walk i a straight line." he said as she leaned into his chest. When he surrounded her it was like feeling again, not exactly the same but, close enough to satisfy.

Fiyero pulled his head back slightly. Normally her head went to his shoulder not just touching his collar bone. 'ah the perfect way to change the subject.' he didn't want to upset her, but some times she was too stubborn and things had to be brought to her attention several times.

"Fae I'm not sure, but I think if you took your hat off your head would be just short of my shoulder" Fiyero said snickering slightly.

Elphaba's eyes bulged. Fiyero was right she was at least six inches shorter than normal even with her boots on. "I'm so glad you find this funny" she said searching her hair for the pins that held her hat on. Once she pulled it off Fiyero doubled over holding his sides laughing.

"Your roots are blonde Fae" he gasped out at her shocked face. Elphaba ran to the mirror in their room and turned it away from the wall. Sweet Oz she was a sight, and not a good one at that. Her hair was the color of wheat until it reached the edge of where her hat would sit; her skin was now three shades of green, she was defiantly shorter. Her face was not the prettiest thing on a good day, and this was defiantly not a good day. Her eyes were to big, her nose small, her lips nothing but a straight tear in the fabric that made her. 'Oz' she thought 'no wonder Fiyero wants to fix me so quickly I can hardly look at myself he probably can't help but stare and laugh'

"Fae" Fiyero called from the door way "get away from that thing it lies like a professional politician." Elphaba was staring at her boots a miserable look on her face. 'I tried to stop you Fae, but I can't save you from yourself'

"Even my hair is ugly now" she said with an ill humored smirk. "The one thing about me that looks alright is messed up" she sighed. "Isn't that just par for the course" she thought she said angrily "I can't win for the world making me the butt of every little joke."

Fiyero walked up walked up behind Elphaba and put his arms around her waist, and resting his chin on top of her head. "Fae it doesn't matter what you see in that stupid mirror. You'll always be my beautiful Fae no matter what some stupid spell does to your outside. Green, white, or neon orange; Straw, skin, or stone I love you Fae, and not a thing will change that" he said and finished by kissing the top of her head.

Elphaba turned around on his arms and hugged him. The most handsome man in Oz loved the most disgusting woman, what a world. Elphaba sighed "so when are we going to Glinda's" she said submitting to his plan.

Fiyero smiled. "Once we gather some supplies, and figure out how exactly we plan on getting into the city." He swayed from side to side and led her into an impromptu waltz around the small room. Fiyero softly sang "Come be how you want to and see how bright we shine" he spun Elphaba and hummed for a moment "and know I'll be here holding you…as long as you're mine."

Elphaba put her head in his shoulder and followed his lead "Thank you" she whispered. "Fae" he said gently "I said I love you no matter your looks and I meant it. I love you and I stay with you, because you're more than just a pretty face. You have beautiful mind, and once you let people in, a great personality" he assured her "If someone doesn't absolutely adore you it's because they don't know you" he said into her hair. "I wouldn't trade you for all the money in Oz. I have everything I really need in my arms"

"Ok see, now you're getting overly mushy and making it very hard to believe you" she said. He really did lay the compliments on thick when he knew she was troubled. Only Fiyero could put up with her and her almost constant need for reassurance, and refusal to believe that she was worth something.

They danced the rest of the morning away. little was said, but both needed to be near the other. a comforting presence to prove that things weren't as bad as all that, and things would be alright.


	6. Chapter 6

Ah another chapter. Sorry for the hold up but, well life has this tendency to get in the way. Anyone know a good obedience trainer?

Any who. Please review if you would be so kind.

Disclaimer: If I said yes would I get in trouble? No it's not mine, but I have a good imagination.

* * *

"We can't get in there."

"Yes we can, we just have to stow away on a train from Shiz, get off and away from the station as quickly as possible, and I know the way to Glinda's. Unless she's moved."

"This is never going to work."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Yes. Stay here and deal"

Elphaba and Fiyero had been doing exactly this for the past week. He suggested and she shot down. She saw some horrible tragedy or other in every step of his plan and he tried to reassure her. Needless to say it wasn't working out. They had been arguing almost constantly and both had won several rounds of this verbal jousting contest. This was the last time. The sudden death 'to go or not to go' and he had put too much effort into this to let go of it when the prize was so close.

Fiyero sighed "Fae really you have to stop being so negative about everything."He loved his wife, honestly he did, but sometimes she got on his nerves with that negative outlook of hers.

"Yero we are not going to pull this off. You act like it's easy to sneak onto a train. There are two Gale Forcers at every door. If we make it on then running o away from the train station won't be too hard, but _I am green_, and we have a three mile hike from the Shiz gate to Glinda's home. People aren't stupid enough to just go with walking talking green scarecrow."

Elphaba was pacing around the room visions of doom and destruction playing in her head. Not real visions, but her imagination was amazingly detailed and did her no favors.

"then we'll tie a rope around your neck and tell any one who asks that this farmer had some really tough crows, and I figured that a scarecrow made to look like the wicked witch of the west aught to scare anything with half a mind away" he said in such a way that Elphaba really couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

Fiyero was sitting at the kitchen table watching her go back and forth in front of him. She needed time to process everything go over every detail, and be completely sure. Then and only then would she go through with the plan.

"you're going to wear a rut in the floor at the rate your going darling"he said in a sarcastically sweet voice.

"the comment earned him a glare. "I do believe that i'm starting to rub off on you Yero" she said stopping her legs for a short moment.

Elphaba practically fell down into the chair opposite of Fiyero still stumbling every once in awhile. The transformation hadn't been very easy for her. He could see it in her posture; her back was as straight as a board, and the way her fingers were constantly fiddling with something. She was uneasy and couldn't do anything or go anywhere to take breather and get her mind off of it. She really was too conspicuous.

"Fae do you trust me" he asked. She gave him a side long glance with slightly hurt eyes.

"Yero I trust you. It's the rest of Oz that I don't trust. Yero if something happens, you can't stand for more than five minutes at a time, and you haven't been able to run since the night it happened. You would be in serious trouble if a Gale Forcer saw us." She pleaded for him to see reason to understand her fears.

"I didn't ask if you trusted Oz. I asked if you trusted me. Trust me to be able to protect you, and not have to get myself killed doing it. Elphie you said yourself that Glinda should know what happened more than anyone else. Now is your chance." He said grasping her hand.

That had been a slightly low blow but desperate times call for desperate measures. She was falling down the same hole of depression that he had been. Except it had taken him three years to get to where she was in one week. She looked about ready to rip her hair out in frustration, scream, and cry, or break something.

He looked directly at her. 'Come on just look me in the eye and I win this round.'

Elphaba looked up. Her unease showing showing in her flat black paint splotch eyes. She sighed.

"Alright just one more thought. What if we wait for Glinda to go around Oz and do her whole 'encouraging public figure' routine?"

"I told you, i went asking around, she's the throne minister now that the wizard has gone. She isn't going to be traveling Oz for a long time if at all" He said with what was left of his patience.

"Then when do we start this crazy plan of yours" she sighed caving finally. Fiyero smiled at least for now she was more willing to listen to ideas. He kissed her hand gently smiling. Soon they'd be like they had been three years ago only free from all the troubles that had plagued them in Oz. Husband and wife till death do they part, and that's only if death got exceptionally lucky.

"Early tomorrow morning so we can make it to the station before too many people get there, i'd rather be ahead of the crowds then in them."

* * *

Early the next morning the couple set out about an hour before dawn. Fiyero slung a rucksack over his shoulder (which held the sewing kit, some small provisions, and bandages because Fiyero was once again horribly disaster prone) and grasped Elphaba's hand tightly and walked seven miles through the Pertha Hills to the train station. They arrived at Station plaza in Frottica just as the gate was unlocked they and the first handful of people were allowed in. Fiyero took the cloak clad Elphaba (who had stuffed her hat in the inside pocket) by the hand and walked away from the small group filtering in.

"There are some small service hatches in the bottoms of the train cars. All we have to do is get underneath get it open and slip in" he whispered

"How do you know that? Have you ever even been on a train before" she hissed back.

"Yes Gale Force used to do security checks and go through them until I said that you wouldn't use a train you know with the whole flying broom stick and everything" he said lightly as they looked for a soon leaving Emerald City bound train. It wasn't exactly had to spot.

The picture of opulence it by far the biggest engine in the station, and was painted bright green with gold metal work. It gleamed almost proudly in the early morning sun filtering through the small windows at the top of the station.

'Now to get under the thing' thought Elphaba sourly. Things weren't looking great at this early stage of their journey and she didn't believe they were going to get much better as the trip progressed.

Fiyero walked calmly to the next to last car. Glancing quickly over his shoulder and to either side conspiratorially before slipping into the gap between the train track and the walking platform he held out his hand to help Elphaba down. That was crossing the line though. Elphaba slid down next to him and whispered "haven't you learned yet that chivalry gets you nowhere with me?"

Fiyero sighed and started looking for the hatch. His Fae just wasn't like many girls he had ever met, and come to think of it that was a good thing.

The space between the bottom of the train and the track itself was small, uncomfortably small if you happened to be crawling around on your hands and knees in a dress thought Elphaba. She looked quickly at the palm of her left hand and wasn't totally surprised to see straw starting to poke through. She sighed 'at this rate by the time we get to the emerald city there will be more stitches then fabric.'

Fiyero stopper abruptly and Elphaba crashed into him. He banged his head on a low slung piece of the undercarriage. "Ow" he yelped pressing a hand against his forehead.

A whistle blew somewhere on the platform. Fiyero grabbed the hatch's handle and yanked once twice and it refused to budge. "Fiyero both of us at once" she said grabbing hold of the handle. Being crushed by a train saw not on the agenda. "1..2..3" Fiyero grunted and Elphaba yanked and put every once she had into pulling it open. Fiyero put one hand on the bottom of the train to brace himself and pulled straining hos muscles.

Doors were closing above them, the trains whistle blew and the hatch door popped open like a cork from a bottle. Fiyero leapt in grabbed Elphaba by her wrists, hauled her into the box car with him, and slammed the floor hatch shut. Seconds later the train lurched forward and began the half a day journey towards the Emerald City.

Elphaba look over at Fiyero who was breathing hard and wearing an adrenalin smile. He flopped backward onto the floor and let out a wild laughed. Elphaba leaned back more gracefully and lay next to her husband.

"You know I think we make an excellent team" he said breathlessly still smiling. Elphaba slowly leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek.

"Oh yes but next time we try this how about you don't crack your head on the train" she said matter-of-factly. Fiyero gave her a questioning look. He put his hand to his head and looked uncomprehendingly at his blood stained fingers for a moment before he remembered he had hit his head, and that the wet feeling on his forehead must be more blood. Whoops.

Elphaba pulled the little bag of first aid things from the rucksack and bandaged his head, and Fiyero sewed up the holes on her hands a knees. It was going to be a long trip she decided after Fiyero had fallen asleep.

She looked over at her husband lay asleep next to her under her cloak to keep the chill away. He looked so innocent when asleep like he was still a child. Elphaba smiled and curled up next to him proving a little more insulation to keep him warm. He was brilliant and his plan was pretty good, but she could not shake the feeling that something was going to happen. Feelings like this rarely turned out to be good things, but they were on the train and on their way so turning back was no longer an option. Elphaba draped her arm across Fiyero's chest and stared at the ceiling resigning herself to a day of complete and total boredom until Fiyero awoke. The sooner they got to the EC the better. This life as a scarecrow thing was maddening.


	7. Chapter 7

Next chapter is here! Happy 4th of July to my state side readers I may or may not post again before that. Please tell my what you think. I love it when y'all do that.

Disclaimer: Was there a moment, at any point, where you honestly thought it was mine?

* * *

Elphaba held Fiyero tightly her as he shivered in the cold of the baggage car. 'Well that's a t least one good thing about this whole predicament' she thought. It didn't make up for the whole made-of-straw thing but it was good to not need huddle under a load of blankets, and she trying to be in a better mood for Fiyero's sake if nothing else. She folded her arms around her husband and pressed herself to him trying to remember the sensation of a warm body against her, and sunk back into her comatose state.

They had been on the train for four hours and had six left until they reached their destination. Elphaba who had nothing to preoccupy herself fell to thinking. That didn't usually end well when her self dought weighed on her mind, and right now it might as well have been a ton a bricks on her back.

Fiyero Tigelaar was tall, well muscled, smart, kind, and so handsome that people had once joked it must hurt to be that good looking. Elphaba Thropp, the woman who currently lay beside him was the antithesis of that, short, fell apart at the drop of a hat, cynical and sarcastic, hideous scarecrow. Not even human, and hardly qualifying for the self given title of 'woman'. All those things compounded on one another to convince her that Fiyero wasn't going to the Emerald City for her sake, but for his own.

For three years he had deftly refused to go to Glinda for help, and now suddenly he barely thinks of anything except finding her 'to help fix Elphaba' of course, but her mind keeps telling her otherwise. That little voice of doom that had once been her faithful companion spoke up.

_He isn't doing this for you. He just needed an excuse to leave and go to Glinda. He's trying to be nice about it. The instant they see each other again you'll be yesterday's bottom-of-the-back-page-in-small-print news. _

I stayed with Fiyero while he was like this, and he will do the same for me. We are _married _for oz's sake! He _loves_ me! He left Glinda while he was human for _me_!

_Married? Says what pastor? All that you have to prove that is what you and Fiyero say. He could easily say you're lying. He might have loved you then, but three years of not being human, because of you I might add, could have changed his mind. You didn't stay simply because you love him, poor silly you, and even if you did try to leave you had nowhere else to go. Fiyero on the other hand has plenty of options. Every Vinkun girl would love to be his, and three quarters of all women throughout the rest of Oz would do the same. He has every opportunity you never did. Yes he is going to the EC, and it _is_ to find Glinda, but making you human is not really on his list of priorities. You're green sweetie, and scarecrow to boot. People love you until they no longer need your services. like Nessa, like Papa. This is your life, or have you forgotten?_

At this point Elphaba was drowning in her low self-esteem. Her father and sister had never really cared for her. Other than to help precious little Nessa they no need for her, or any desire to have her around. Even Fiyero one of a handful of people that had been allowed close enough to hurt her if they tried didn't (couldn't possibly after what she'd done to him) love her in return.

Wretched.

That was the adjective that she could come up with that even began to remotely express how she felt. After several more increasingly belittling conversations with herself, Elphaba had decided that she would give Fiyero what he doughtlessly wanted. His life before her.

The train stopped the refuel on coal and water about an hour later. Elphaba wrapped Fiyero in two blankets, and kissed his forehead like a mother tucking in her child for the night. On one of the few pieces of paper with a tiny nub that had been a pencil she wrote

_I love you. _

_You don't need me dragging you down anymore. I've already done enough to you. Give Glinda my love when you see her. Good luck with your life. Sorry I knocked it so of track. _

_Good-bye Yero my hero_.

Elphaba gently placed the note next to the rucksack, pocketed the sewing kit, and shuffled over to the floor hatch. Against her better judgment she cast one last backwards glance at her love. She nearly lost the nerve to leave.

'surely i could just enjoy it while it lasts' she thought before realizing that it would be better for Fiyero if he didn't have her following him around any longer than absolutely necessary. Elphaba sighed willing herself not collapse into tearless sobs. "I love you Yero. Never forget that" she whispered to the nearly silent train car, and slid through the hatch.

She hit the ground three feet below her and crouched waiting for the train to move along and leave her behind. After a few moments the whistle blew and the train struggled forward to continue its journey. Elphaba smiled sadly. She had undone her curse on Fiyero and sent him back to his deserved life. Maybe just maybe this was the one good deed that would actually work.

Elphaba turned on her heals once the train and its smoke stack was out of sight. Following the tracks back the way they had come going she didn't know where, but she would get there. Eventually.

* * *

Fiyero woke up right before sundown stretched and smiled, but didn't open his eyes.

"Fae you have no idea how good that nap felt. How much longer until we reach the city do you suppose" He yawned and questioned the empty train car.

He slowly squinted out of one eye his content smile disappearing. "Fae? Hello? Oh come on not again" he said exasperated.

He looked around and noticed the blankets piled on top of him, and a small piece of crumpled paper with a small amount of orderly writhing on it. Fiyero slowly read the letter.

"Oz-damn it Fae" Fiyero said quietly. She just couldn't comprehend that she was everything that he had gone though. "Frexspar Thropp thank the unnamed god that you're already dead, or I'd hunt yo down and kill you myself, _you son of a Glikkun troll_" She seethed turning red in the face.

The train came to a slow stop, and Fiyero heard the groan of one of the great gates that led into the EC. "Home sweet home" he said bitterly. He waited for the train to pull into the station before stuffing the note in his pocket, and disappearing into the crowd.

He was going to Find Glinda. They were going to find Elphaba. Glinda was going to make said green scarecrow a green woman once more, and then he and his beautiful Fae would live happily ever after for the rest of their days gosh darn it. Whether Elphaba thought Fiyero really wanted to be with her or not, whether or not Elphaba thought she deserved to be happy or punished or whatever she had been brainwashed into thinking by her psychotic family. He would make her happy prove to her that she could in fact beloved that the whole world just black and white. there was grey area, or more specifically to this case, green.

'Stubborn emotional wreck of woman' He thought fiercely 'Why does she have to make convincing her that you love her so _difficult.'_

Fiyero walked calmly up the streets towards the emerald palace that the new throne minister resided in. HE only noticed a few people staring and from the lack of guards coming to arrest him chalked it up the fact that he was Vinkun and had some of the most patched cloths the world had ever seen.

He walked right up to an old side door that the Force used to store unused equipment. The room had seen so little traffic that several cobwebs were big enough to span from one side of the stone arch way to the other. Fiyero gently pushed the door open and checked for any unwanted witnesses. Assured that the coast was clear he went fully into the room. The shelves that lined the room where covered in Gale Force uniforms and weapons all sporting their own thick layer of dust. He smiled ant Glinda's apparent crackdown on the brutality of the Gale Force.

After appropriating a dark green shirt, brown trousers, and a fairly new pair of boots Fiyero walked out into the palace proper and began his search for Glinda. It only took him twenty minutes as she used the Wizards old office, Fiyero straightened out his cloths and smoothed his hair, raised his fisted hand and just before he knocked he heard a gasp.

"Fiyero is that you" the disbelief obvious in her voice.

Fiyero turned. and saw a proud woman in a tan gown. nothing goddy ,but on Glinda it still looked regal.

"Hey Glin" he said smiling holding his arms open to give his ex-fiancé a hug.

She rushed into his arms and clung to him for several moments crying into his shirt, and babbling incoherently about missing him and his death and her voice got particularly high when she said something about melting.

"Glin shh" he said gently placing a finger on her lips. "I need your help. Elphaba has gotten herself into a bit of a pickle and I need your help to get her out of it."

Glinda's eyes bulged and her voice rose another octave if that was possible "Elphie's alive" she squealed. Things were suddenly looking up for Glinda.

Fiyero smiled "yup she's alive trust me though she needs your help. Get the Grimmerie we're going to need it" he said

"Why what's happened?" Glinda's imagination went into over drive about horrible things that could have happened to her best friend.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. It's just better if you wait and see for yourself." Fiyero said placing his hand gently on her shoulder. If he told Glinda right here exactly what had happened there was a high likely hood that she would faint, and right now he needed Glinda as coherent has she could be.


	8. Chapter 8

Alrighty chapter eight. I think I got way too mushy in this chapter with Fiyero. Tell me what you think.

* * *

Elphaba walked (only stumbling every once in a while) solemnly back to the cottage. It was the only place she could think to go. She was safe since no one knew where it was except for Fiyero, and he wasn't coming back now that he was that close to Glinda.

She sighed heavily thinking of Fiyero made her feel… she couldn't say. It was like being more empty than the scarecrow usual. Like she cared and yet didn't. Emotions were confusing enough, but now that she couldn't tell what emotion it was, since everything was so dampened by her new existence, it was downright frustrating.

The half moon shone high above her casting just enough light for her to see by as she wandered through the loose knit trees. The wind blew the grass gently and all seemed at peace. Things were solely getting g themselves back in place. The Animals had all their rights restored weeks after the Wizard left, the curse she put on Fiyero had been removed from him, and the whole of Oz, save one possibly two people, thought she was dead. 'Almost as if I had never existed' she thought with smile 'now one little problem to deal with and everything will be right with the world.'

It was about three in the morning if the moon was as good with time as the sun. She had been walking all night which was one more positive about being made of straw. You couldn't get tired, so you needed no rest, and that made for fast traveling when one walked at her efficient pace. She was almost back to Frottica after only seven hours, and wondering what Fiyero was doing.

_Making up for lost time with Glinda what else?_

Elphaba sighed once again. That annoying voice was probably right. Again. Fiancés reunited after three years of being separated so harshly from one another, so yeah the best bet was that the pair was 'reacquainting' themselves. This thought stung Elphaba more than she really wanted to admit even to herself. Fiyero had been with her through thick and thin for three years, and there had been plenty of thin times and thick situations. She loved him, even if he needed to get away from her for his own safty, she loved him, and to think of him with someone else especially her best friend really was a sore topic.

_How do you think Glinda felt?_

Exactly like this. Like someone had actually managed to steal away the warmth of the world, and placed clouds permanently overhead to make every day dreary and overcast. Elphaba kicked a stone and watched it bounce off of a tree. It was going to be a mercy to get 'home'. Just a few seconds to find the box of matches, curl up in the fireplace, strike one match, and then everything would be fine for everyone. The world would be better if not at least happier without an Elphaba in it.

Elphaba smiled to herself even though she felt like crying. Fiyero and Glinda would be happy. They had been made for each other, and deserved to live happily ever after just like that stupid couple in all the fairy tales. What was it her father used to say? 'You're proof that there is wrongness, and wrongness doesn't need to be loved.'

'We'll Frex was at least right about that I suppose' she thought sourly. Even if it made her heart hurt to think about it. Just a few hours and should never have to worry about these things or anything for that matter again.

"Free as smoke on the wind" she said cackling at the thought of it. Elphaba spread her arms and danced and jumped cackling with crazed laughter as she went along her way. She laughed and laughed until she fell to the ground curling in on herself sobbing into her checkered skirt.

Fiyero was gone from her life she would never see him again, or Glinda, the only two people that she cared for. She was alone now. This time there was no wicked witch to rise to the challenge, only Elphaba, little Elphie, who could only use her strong voice for others. Now it was time to give up, this was her final walk through these woods. It was time she left well enough alone, and alone she would leave.

* * *

Fiyero slept fitfully in the room Glinda had shown him to. The blonde witch had listened intently to everything he told her of the life he had lived for the last few years. How he had tried to adjust to bring a scarecrow and failed miserably, about he lost his temper the other morning, and Elphaba had fixed him only to land herself in hot water. When they had finished swapping stories of the time they had spent apart it was late. Glinda had assured him that she would get to work on the counter curse as soon as she could which meant she had pulled it out and was reading over it while he was explaining, and describing the event, until he could hardly talk for yawning.

"You're practically asleep in the chair so stop fighting it. You don't do anyone any good if you can't stay awake. I've got one thing to do bright and early next morning. We'll leave for your home as soon as I'm done, which shouldn't be much later than seven. We'll get this sorted out don't worry Fiyero" she said gently squeezing his hand.

Fiyero couldn't seem to explain to her that they needed to find Elphaba _right now. _It was just this feeling he had, but he couldn't ignore it, and didn't really want to.

She simply smiled and said "Fiyero if I don't have the spell ready to go once we finder her, Elphaba will simply run away again."

"I know I know, but I can't stand the thought of her out there alone. Even if she did go it by choice" he said dejectedly

"Fiyero, Elphaba is my best friend. Do you think I don't want her safe? I still have a duty to this country though, and as inconvenient as that is right now, I have to do it. Tomorrow we will finder her even if I can't find the spell tonight. Elphie will be fine. I'll make sure of that."

He lay flat on his back staring at the ceiling he was tired of that there was no dought despite having slept most of the day, and Luraline was he hungry, but he couldn't relax and sleep. It was so familiar, and yet so foreign. The marble walls and paintings hanging on tem, the carpets on emerald green tiles, and the grandeur of the emerald palace had not lost any of its dazzle. It was just that he no longer belonged here. Fiyero Tigelaar the Arjiki prince no longer belonged in the bright city lights, in the center of everyone's attention. He belonged with Elphaba, he belonged _to _Elphaba. She had shown him a life without people clawing for his attention, without the constant pressures of having to fulfill some public duty or other.

His Fae had changed him and without the help of some stupid book of spells. He needed to be by her side to protect her, to love her. Things just weren't the same without Elphaba, and that wasn't a good thing.

And yet she had left him. She had run away and told him that he was better off if she wasn't around.

"Stupid stubborn witch" he said softly, lovingly "why did you have to run away, we were so close to having done with all that bovine fodder, and you run away. Fae, what am I going to do with you love?" It felt slightly wrong to go to sleep without her there next to him. It was hard to know that she was out wandering around somewhere. This whole thing was a nightmare. He was human, and Elphaba was gone.

Fiyero lit a candle and took the note out of his pocket. Elphaba's distinctive hand wrighting criss-crossed the small paper neatly. He read it once, twice, three times. something about it just didn't seem to fit. She had said 'I love you' and then a formal 'good-bye' that wasn't like Elphaba. She loved him, but was too shy to say it without him saying it first. She had always said 'see you in clock tick' or 'two shakes of a Lion's tail', but never before had he heard her say the word 'good-bye'. Something was truly bothering her more than she was admitting.

Was she going to avoid him? No she knew that Glinda could track her down given enough time. What on earth was going through that green head of hers?

Fiyero had been exceptionally depressed for most of his tenure as a scarecrow, but was Elphaba going downhill faster than him? Was she so convinced that he still loved Glinda even after, everything they had been through, that she needed to get away from it all? Didn't she know that he would have liked to talk about it even if her crazy idea was true, but no she had run off into the night, and Fiyero without so much a kiss farewell.

Wait a minute. Good bye? As in the final farewell? Like death?

Elphaba was going to commit suicide.

Fiyero leapt up from his bed threw on his boots, trousers, and shirt in record time. He ran as fast as he could manage for Glinda's study, where she was no doubt still reading over that god forsaken book.

Surely now she would go to Elphaba whether she was prepared to change her back immediately or not.

* * *

OK so Elphaba is going nuts. She seems really disconnected to me sometimes, like she can't tell what she feels, and now with out a brain, heart, or any other internal organs she has even more trouble. kinda like she's bipolar, or has aspergers, or something. Reviews are love, and ideas are welcome!


	9. Chapter 9

Next to last chapter. I think. Hope you guys have enjoyed reading this as much as I have wrighting it.

Oh and ChaoticSymphonyOfDarkness I could never do that. She my fav character too.

Disclaimer: (yeah I forgot last chapter) I only own the plot bunny that bit me and made me wright this. (caught the little sucker and now he has his own little cage HA!)

* * *

Fiyero crashed into the stumbling through the dark hall way towards Glinda's study.

Fae was in danger. Surely Glinda would tell what ever business needed her attention to go to hell. She had to help Elphaba right now when she needed her best friend the most.

He reached the door gasping for breath and heard voices coming from the other side of the door. Fiyero knocked gently erring on the side of caution. Even know certain people would recognize him and the standard Gale Force inquisition was the last thing he needed right now.

"Coming" answered Glinda's soft voice. Fiyero backed out of the way of the door and any light that might escape from the room once it was opened.

Glinda stepped into the hall wearing a simple dress, and staring crossly at him.

"Fiyero I thought you were asleep" she said exasperated.

"Glinda Fae is in real trouble, we have to go find her now, as in right this minute. I think she's going to try and hurt herself."

"Fiy…"

"Please Glinda you have to believe me! We need to go right now Fae needs help, she wrote this letter on the train and I was looking over it and I think she is going to try and… and kill herself. Glinda we have to go now" Fiyero was rambling and going incoherent with panic. His mind kept making more and more distressing pictures of Elphaba's dead body.

Glinda firmly put her hand over Fiyero's endlessly moving mouth. "Fiyero I have every intention of Helping Elphie. I was going to get you in a few moments, because I think I have found the solution. We can leave as soon as you see fit to stop talking and tell Flinnin to go back to his quarters." Her tone was that of a mother when her child misbehaves in the market, and the look in her eyes could have made the bravest man cower. Fiyero nodded with Glinda's hand still over his mouth.

Glinda flashed him her trademark right smile. "Alright then one moment and we will be on our way." With that Glinda went back into her study, Fiyero hugged the shadows in the hall, and seconds later a Gale Force guard walked out looking slightly miffed.

As the guard left down the hall way Glinda stood in the door and motioned for Fiyero to come into the room. "Just let me do a tracking spell quickly and we'll be on our way." Glinda read over the spell her finger running beneath the line she read, in an effort not to lose track of where she was on the page. She chanted something unintelligible and her skin took on a shimmering quality.

Glinda closed her eyes concentrating, on what exactly Fiyero didn't know, her eyes opened wide and she said excitedly "found her." Glinda closed the heft tome and placed it in a satchel from a shelf on the wall behind her.

Glinda held out her hand Fiyero took it and suddenly they were standing inside of a giant bubble. There was a faint popping noise and then they weren't in Glinda's study or anywhere near the Emerald city. They were just inside the tree line next to the field owned by the Farmer that kept mysteriously losing eggs.

"But it thought you still had to fly" Fiyero said awestruck

"Yes well in an emergency I use to cut travel time to a minimum, now come on, she's over here" Glinda whispered still holding Fiyero's hand leading him to the green scarecrow.

He saw her through the trees, curled up holding her knees to her chest, and shaking violently. Fiyero dropped Glinda's hand and ran to her falling and sliding the last foot. Elphaba made no sign that she noticed their presence.

He picked up his wife and held her to him gently rocking back and forth as if she were a small child having a nightmare. "Fae, it's going to be alright" he whispered into her ear.

* * *

Elphaba looked up into his face and stiffened. He was here really here. She looked over her shoulder and saw Glinda standing not ten feet away. So what was he doing here there was Glinda why was he holding her?

Elphaba struggled from Fiyero grasp, and stood looking back and forth from the both of them. Just as it looked like she was about to say something, she turned and ran as fast as her straw packed legs would carry her. Back towards the cottage she was almost done why couldn't she just be left alone? She knew she didn't deserve to be anything resembling happy, but at least people could let end this godforsaken thing that was her existence.

The door of her 'home' was insight and locked tight with one or two candles still burning. It was almost over, soon she would have no problems left to worry about and no one left to worry about her, so it all worked out.

Elphaba's hand touched the door knob with her right hand and Fiyero's hand grasped her left. Elphaba yanked on the door but it wouldn't open, she shook her arm trying to get Fiyero to let go, but he wouldn't be moved. She whipped around, anguish wrighten clearly across her face. "Why" was all she said. One small word one tiny word that sounded so simple but the way she asked it Fiyero knew she was talking about more than just him not letting her go, but he could think of no answer to give her.

Fiyero pulled Elphaba into his arms and held her tightly to him, and placed his forehead agenst hers. "Because I love you Fae, because you're different and amazing. I wouldn't have you any other way than Mrs. Elphaba Thropp Tigelaar, green witch of the west. I don't care what people have told you, but you are absolutely perfect no matter what and if anybody says different please tell me I will _happily_ knock their lights out. " he whispered to holding her swaying from side to side, bending slightly to kiss her.

Fiyero smiled gently as Elphaba relaxed into his arms and wrapped her arms around him. Glinda, who came running just behind Fiyero, leaned against a tree and watched the couple and sighed. It was just so sweet. They really did deserve each other.

Glinda stared at Elphaba with particular interest. Fiyero had refused to describe Elphaba's appearance, and it was a small shock. This short green patchwork figure, with her long black braid that went to the small of her back, black and white checkered dress, and sturdy sensible boots looked only vaguely like her best friend.

Fiyero broke the kiss and smiled. "Hey, Fae, you might be interested to know that Lady Glinda the Good has figured it out" he whispered teasingly.

Elphaba's head shot up, her eyes as wide as pain splotches got "you mean… she can…"

"Destrawify you? That's exactly what I mean" he said kissing her gently. "You ready Fae"

Elphaba placed her head against his chest and nodded. 'Things might not be what they seem after all, but then again it probably helps to not be delusional too' she thought.

Elphaba looked over at Glinda, backing away from Fiyero. Elphaba took in the sight of her best friend after three years of wishing she could. She hadn't changed a bit. Maybe her curls didn't shine quite as much and maybe she had developed the beginnings of circles under her eyes, but really hat difference was that?

"How have you been Elphie?" it was a question to break the silence that had fallen on the trio.

"Oh I've been alright, been better that's for sure, but i'm alright" she said easing the mild tension "how about you?"

Glinda laughed "well yesterday evening this strange man came to me and asked if I could possibly find time in my ever stuffed schedule to fix his wife who had spontaneously turned into some sort of farm impalement. Very odd, but I am a public figure, and a certain amount of charity work is required of me" she said with a completely straight face.

Then at the same time they moved towards one another and embraced. Glinda picked Elphaba off her feet and proceeded to swing her from side to side.

"Hey! Just because you can toss me around like a rag doll doesn't mean you should" Elphaba protested when a huge portion of straw burst from the button up back of her dress. Glinda couldn't help but giggle as she and Fiyero restuffed her.

"I am so glad you find this funny Glin, really, so happy to be of service" but the words didn't mean much when Elphaba herself started to laugh.

"You're the same height as me" Glinda said mockingly. Putting he hand on the top of her own head and then moving it to be just over the top of Elphaba's.

"Well how about you take your heels off" Elphaba shot back

"I'm wearing flats Elphie. You have more height from your boots than I do from my shoes" Glinda was turning red in the face from the effort of not laughing.

"Yeah and you're just going to love this" Elphaba mumbled as she took off her hat.

In her defense Glinda did try not to laugh, she had her hands over her mouth and everything, but it was just too funny. A blonde Elphaba was just something that was considered impossible. "You might want to touch up your roots there sweet heart" Glinda burst out laughing. It was too much, Glinda was laughing so hard she had was holding her sides, as if trying not to pop.

Fiyero was glad that they were still close even after all this time, but he was getting impatient to have his living breathing Fae. He just wanted to be able to hold his wife as a human man again. The two women needed this moment though and he really didn't want to break them apart.

Glinda finally suggested they go inside just as the sun began to peak over the horizon.

Fiyero pulled up the two chairs at the table and stood behind Elphaba. Glinda placed the Grimmerie on the table and opened it to a marked page.

"Elphie you might want to stand over there in the middle of the room, I'm not sure if it is going to hurt or not" Glinda warned. This was going to be tricky and the fact that her best friends life was on the line was a little daunting, but she would try. Elphaba nodded and did as directed.

Glinda stood up bending over the book and began the spell. Three minutes, and a blue on the face Glinda later, all the candles in the house guttered out. Elphaba was surrounded by a miniature of the cyclone that had been her sister's downfall. The wind buffered the other two occupants and made the few utensils in the kitchen bang together loudly, but neither of them heard that over the sound of Elphaba screaming.

The wind died down, the candles started to burn again, and a few stray pieces of straw fluttered to the ground. There on the floor was Elphaba wearing long black dress, hair down and bedraggled gasping for air.

**Reviews are love! **


	10. Chapter 10

The final official chapter. there will probably be an epilog though. Thank you all who have reviewed, followed, favorited, and read this story you really have now idea how good that makes me feel. Love yall and hope you have wonderful rest of the summer.

* * *

Elphaba lay on the floor dazed and happy though she wasn't sure exactly why. She was breathing. She could feel the steady beat of a heart. She could tell that the room saw cold. The only thing was she wasn't entirely sure what room it was. So until the thoughts coalesced in her head Elphaba planned to sit there. She decided this only a moment before she blacked out.

Fiyero crossed the room in one leap skidding and falling at his wife's side.

"Fae are you alright?" He said gently moving the hair from her face. Fiyero smiled at the face he saw underneath the curtain of hair. One shade of green, no stitches, just some dark circles under her eyes that could be fixed with some actual sleep.

Glinda moved towards Elphaba cautiously. Her best friend was unconscious on the floor not moving or making a sound. Had she killed her? No. No Fiyero would have done… something by now if Elphie was dead.

"Fiyero is she alright" she questioned in a voice so quiet and high that Glinda herself almost didn't hear it.

"Huh? Oh she's fine Glin. She's just really unconscious. After all she's been a scarecrow for three days and she's been through quite a lot in that short amount of time." He said picking up Elphaba and placing her in his lap once more. He didn't want to be rude to Glinda after all she had done, but right now he wanted to be alone with his wife. To hold her and just revel in the fact that he could feel her, a human, felling couple for the first time.

Glinda could tell that Fiyero wasn't in the mood for company, even though she had just help Elphie. Totally understandable Glinda thought for a moment and faux yawned. Something she had made very convincing for when she really needed to get to something more important and people seemed to not understand that she was exceptionally busy runny the whole country.

"Hey Glin if you go through that door, there's a bed that you can crash on. It's not much but it's what we have" Fiyero said seeing the tired and trying to not be expression on Glinda's face, and an opportunity to be alone with Elphaba for a little while.

"Fiyero at this point the floor looks like it would be plenty comfortable" She said only half lying. She slowly walked towards the offered bed and suddenly thought better.

"Fiyero your wife is human and exhausted put her in that bed curl up next to her and enjoy being with her. I do still have things to do in" she yawned again a real one this time "in the Emerald City, so I will leave and come back later. If I remember I'll bring breakfast for the three of us." Glinda walked over and kissed both Fiyero and Elphaba on the head in a strangely maternal manner. "Congratulations on your happy union, and sorry I'm a few years late but that's honestly not my fault." Glinda waved farewell and walked out the front door.

Seconds after it closed he heard the tell tale popping sound of Glinda's departure.

"Fae" he said gently shaking her "Fae can you hear me dear?"

Elphaba unconsciously settled in closed to Fiyero's chest. Fiyero smiled and stood and slowly walked towards their room. Laying her on her side and wrapping his arms securely around her. He could feel the movement as she breathed in and out. He could smell the earthy slightly sweet smell that was Elphaba. And at last the dingy little cottage that they lived in just inside the Great Gillikin felt like home.

* * *

Elphaba slept for the most of the day. It was three in the afternoon before she stirred.

She lay on her back staring at the ceiling for a few moments before she remembered the events of the previous few days. Oz Fiyero wasn't kidding when he said being a scarecrow meant that you had no brain.

Elphaba breathed deeply and sighed.

Wait a minute. She had been able to take in air. She put her hand in front of her face and tried to focus her blurred vision.

One shade of green, no stitches along her palm and fingers, skin and not fabric. She disbelievingly fingered her hair and was shocked to find it was actually _hair_, and not Straw sewn onto her head. Elphaba placed to fingers on her neck and felt a steady rhythm that could only mean one thing. Glinda had done it Elphaba Tigelaar was human once more.

Elphaba smiled even though she had a splitting headache. Fiyero was human too everything was as it should be. She sat up slowly registering muffled voices coming from the other room. Glinda's high pith was easily discernible even though she could tell it was meant to be quiet, and Fiyero in his steady tenor voice was calmly conversing with her.

Suddenly the old fears reared their heads, and she wondered what exactly they were talking about. Elphaba cased a glance at the small window on the far wall and briefly contemplated leaving them to whatever future they could have together, but Fiyero was Elphaba's. He had been Elphaba's since that day they had saved that Lion Cub together. Even if the options were to live in an old shack in the middle of nowhere, or go and live happily ever after with Glinda and have the most plush life style a man had ever lived, Elphaba was fairly certain that Fiyero would choose the shack. So she fixed her dress and walked out into the only other room in the building.

Fiyero was in mid-sentence telling Glinda about how Dorothy was a sweet girl, ditzy as the Vinkus winter is long, but a sweet girl, when he saw Elphaba walk shakily out of their bedroom. He smiled half lovingly, half because it was funny when she tried to get away from using the wall as a support, and almost instantly had to lean back against it.

Fiyero stood up and walked directly over to his wife, wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up off her feet, swung her around and kissed her. He made circle after circle until he was dizzy. Fiyero set Elphaba gently back on her feet and held her almost flush against him.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that Fae" he said nearly intoxicated with the sheer joy of being able to hold her and feel her and know that she could to. Things were going to be alright maybe not perfect but well enough to get by and enjoy it.

Glinda sat in the small chair and watched as the only two real friends she had held each other. Jealousy did briefly she would admit briefly flare up at the sight of them kissing and spinning. But Glinda had had three long and tiring years to get over the hurt of Fiyero leaving and seeing them did help her realize that they both wanted and needed each other. Glinda smiled when her best friend buried her face into her husband's shoulder. That was love that was complete happiness and you know what Elphaba deserved a little happy care free time in her life. She was at long, long last receiving her due.

Elphaba looked up from where she and Fiyero stood, and looked directly into Glinda's eyes silently begging her friend to understand why things were the way that they were. Glinda only smiled back and nodded giving her blessing even though she knew it was pointless. No amount of temper tantrums that even Glinda could through would be enough to split these two up, but it set Elphaba's mind at ease so a blessing she would give.

Elphaba managed to wriggle out of her husband's hold and walked less than gracefully over to her best friend. Glinda held both of Elphaba's hand s and the pair scrutinized each other for all each other for all the tiny differences that the years might have made. Then suddenly Glinda couldn't stop herself any longer. She dropped Elphaba's hands and hugged her friend for all she was worth.

"Glinda I sort of need to breathe now" Elphaba gasped while trying to loosen her friends iron grip.

"I missed you so much Elphie if you ever disappear on me again I will track you down and chain you to wall in my office got it"

Elphaba couldn't exactly tell if her friend was joking or not.

"You know I think I rather liked you being shorter than me Elphie."

"Oh shut up Glin."

"Oh yeah and nice job with the hair dye if you run out again just tell me, and rummage some up for you I'm sure."

"I'm perfectly fine thanks. Oh and I just thought I should repay the favor."

Elphaba threaded her arms under Glinda's and swung the blonde from side to until Elphaba thought she might drop her friend.

Glinda stood arms out slightly from her sides and out a hand on Elphaba's shoulder to steady herself.

"Hey! Glinda the green is my trade mark I don't' care if you are motion sick" Elphaba laughed.

Elphaba's stomach gave a loud rumble and Glinda couldn't help but laugh. "Looks like your stomach is sympathetic towards me"

Elphaba smiled sheepishly and turned to look at Fiyero "Do we have anything to eat I'm famished" she said placing on hand over her middle as if to prove a point.

"Well we did have breakfast for you about nine hours ago and lunch about four, and we're out of eggs and ham, and really anything for that matter. So um yeah what do you want, I might be able to scare up dust bunny or two for you" Fiyero said innocently and deftly caught the candle that his wife chucked at him.

Yes things were going to be just fine. No more walking talking scarecrows. No more beast friend who thought she was dead. Oz still probably wanted to burn her alive, but that was small potatoes compared to the felling on content she had right now. The only thing that could have made that instant any better would have been a sandwich, but hey life goes on.

* * *

Later after Glinda had gone back to her home in the Emerald City Elphaba lay next to Fiyero. They were intertwined in the bed feeling the warmth of one another's bodies. Reacquainting themselves with a situation such as this much needed and exceptionally easy.

"A little late honeymoon" Fiyero managed in between heated kisses.

Elphaba paused for a moment and smiled at her lover.

"As long as your mine Fiyero Tigelaar, I don't care what you call this exactly" and silenced anyfurther comments for the foreseeable near future.

**One last review for old times sake anybody?**


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